Parenting Transgender Youth in Trump's America
My teen, Pon, saw the below message on Discord recently stating ICE are allowed to kill transgender people regardless of immigration status. They asked me if it was true and I said that no, that is illegal.
In general, I prefer not to write about Pon in order to protect their privacy. Here though, I think it is important to give people an understanding of where transgender rights are for minors. I asked Pon for permission to write this and they said it was okay.
Pon turned 17 last week. They came out as non-binary and socially transitioned in 2020 when they were 12. Pon has relied on gender affirming care since December of 2020.
I have a friend who has a transgender son. They were living in Tennessee when he came out as transgender. For safety reasons they moved to Ohio in 2021. He didn’t think he could be accepted in his new school so he thought he wouldn’t be able to transition. He quickly found acceptance in his new school and socially transitioned.
Tennessee, Florida, Idaho, and Texas are examples of the worst states for trans youth to reside. In Texas transgender youth are taken from their parents by the Department of Family Protective Services.
I’ve lived in Massachusetts since 2015. While Massachusetts is safer than many states for transgender youth, the safety has reduced since the 2025 inauguration. The administration has worked to remove gender affirming care for people under 19. At the start of 2025 there were three hospitals providing gender affirming care for minors. Fenway Health is a Boston hospital system founded in 1971 specifically to care for the queer community during the AIDS epidemic. While it cares for people beyond the queer community, it is that community who has been at their heart since Fenway’s inception. Due to Fenway Health’s reliance on federal funding they decided to stop providing gender affirming care in October 2025 to patients under 19. That meant the options for transgender youth in Massachusetts were cut by 1/3rd. Chicago area transgender youth faced a similar issue when Lurie Children’s Hospital stopped providing care. Some residents of red states were traveling regularly to Connecticut to seek gender affirming care for their children until both CT providers shut their doors to minors. This year when my teen went for their regular visit we were asked to sign a ton of documents to affirm our awareness and acknowledgement of continued care.
When our president was re-elected someone asked Pon if they were worried. Pon said they weren’t because they knew I was following the news and would keep them safe. Teens shouldn’t be worried that we might have to move, they should be focused on school, friends, and hobbies. Teens shouldn’t have to worry that their healthcare might vanish. Teens should not feel like scapegoats for issues caused by billionaires.
Reduced access to gender affirming care has doubled the risk of suicide for transgender youth. Transgender folks in the US are experiencing early signs of genocide. This includes transgender people being tracked, inhumane treatment in prisons, gun purchase restrictions, bathroom bans, sports bans, and being turned away from shelters.
The biggest things you can do to help are:
Be supportive to your queer community, even if it’s just emotional support.
Be politically active, tell your politicians at all levels your concerns and be an informed voter.
Support trans writers by becoming a paid subscriber to my Substack, Erin in the Morning, and/or Trans United Fund.
Support organizations that fight for the queer community like Glisten, the Trevor Project, and Trans Lifeline.